What’s up bosses and boss chics?! I hope everyone had a #PositiveMonday and continues to have a good week. This week will be a little more rough than usual for me because today specifically marks a life changing event for me. Many of you who read my blog or who are from my hometown know the story about my cousin Delvin being killed when he was only nineteen years old as a result of a senseless act of violence. It all could have been avoided but things got heated up in the moment and instead of the altercation being diffused, it worsened and he was shot to death after one of his track meets his senior year.
I remember I was supposed to go with his dad to that track meet but I can’t remember why I didn’t. I do however remember where I was and exactly what I was doing when I found out the news. I remember specific details about those days that followed and how heart broken my family was to have lost one of its most lovable members. Ten years later to the date, it definitely still hurts. My family has not and will never be the same again. Delvin was a VERY outgoing, fun person and everyone around him felt his spirit. I was only thirteen when he was killed and it affected me so much, it still does. He was the big brother that I never had an he always looked out for me.
Last month his mom asked different members of our family to write a story about him from a personal experience. Just like my mom’s friend Marissa, Delvin’s mom started a scholarship fund for him and they always make memorial booklets each year. I wrote something for the booklet that summed up a few of my experiences with Delvin and wanted to share it with you guys for the blog. You can check it out after the break and just beware that it is long. RIP Delvin Lamont Hairston… forever in our hearts and never leaving our memories!
Every time I think about Delvin I get teary eyed. I’ve never lost any one else as close to me in life as he was. I was thirteen when it happened. I remember I had missed my mama’s phone call that night because my boyfriend at the time had broke up with me and I left the phone off the hook so he couldn’t call. What I knew about a boyfriend then I don’t know… Delvin would have definitely killed me had he known lol. Anyway, my friend Ashley lived right across the road from me and I remember her walking over to my house to tell me the news. She said Delvin had been shot and I initially thought it was just a gun shot to the leg or something. It was no way you could have told me he would be dead that day. We were so, so close. We had a serious love/hate relationship. He was the big brother I always wanted but never had. He watched over me and looked out for me always. He always made sure I was in check, that I wasn’t talking to any boys or doing anything I didn’t have any business. To this day I honestly believe had he been alive, many things would be different in my life. He wouldn’t have let a lot of things that happened with me go down on his watch. I don’t question God though, I know everything happens for a reason. I just wish it wasn’t him. Yes he was rebellious and he always did things his way, but he was a good person. He had the brightest smile and he was so funny. He was the one person in my life who let me know at an early age that I was going to be somebody. We had the same initials, DLH… and I remember he would always tell me that I was really meant to be his sister, that was why our initials were the same.
I have so many fond memories of Delvin that I try to hold on to. One of my biggest fears in life is forgetting our bond. I remember the way he would say my name when he’d realize I was at his house. He called me “Stink” which he got from my grandma and he’d say it really loud and in a high pitched voice. Then every time he would see me he would automatically beat me up on sight. He irritated me like a brother, but I loved him like one too. I remember we would get his mom’s Infiniti and tell her we were going to wash it, but we would always end up going riding. We did wash the car of course, but it would take us hours to get back every time. Back then the Best of Both Worlds album was out, and it was one of our favorites. I can hear him now singing the songs with me at the top of his lungs! One of our other favorite songs back then was “I’m Real” by JLo & Ja Rule. It touched me that he let me hang out with him. Here I was just a pre-teen and he was in high school. He could have been spending his free time with his friends, but he made sure to save time for me instead. That’s what type of person he was.
I remember one Saturday night he had stayed in for some reason. I usually stayed with my grandma who lived beside him on the weekends, and he wasn’t usually home on weekend nights like most teenagers. Well this one particular night he happened to stay in. The movie Castaway with Tom Hanks was on TBS, it was pretty new back then, and we decided to watch it on his mom’s big screen. This was the first time we both had saw the movie, and we made the biggest joke out of it! We thought it was so funny how he was talking to a volleyball and turned him into a person. We ended up watching that whole movie together, joking about what we would do if we were in that situation. I miss times like those so much.
To this day because of Delvin, so many people show me respect and never cross any lines with me. They know he wouldn’t have it any other way. He was and will always be my brother regardless of how related we are on paper. I will tell anyone that no one ever looked out for me as much as Delvin did when he was here, and I’m not sure that anyone ever will. He was a very special person to me, I guess you could say he was a beam of light in my life. I can’t really say it gets any easier not having him here. The last time I spoke to him in person he got mad at me because I had on some really short shorts. I can remember they were pink and yellow. We ended up not speaking for two more weeks. The very last time I saw him was when I got of the school bus. He pretended that he was going to run me and my friends over with his jeep. He was laughing at us so hard which only irritated me even more! There was no way I knew that would be the last time I’d ever see him again. It kills me to know that he lost his life to something so wreckless and childish. To know that I passed the age he made it to haunts me. The fact that the people behind this still have lives to live sickens me… But I know he’s in a better place now, I just hope to make him proud.