It’s been quite some time since I’ve sat down and written a blog or written anything at all for that matter. I really had to take some time for myself and step away from the world of social media for awhile. I’ve become so addicted to Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook that I found myself wrapped up in the lives of others. It wasn’t intentional but when you’re constantly scrolling through social networks, you’re constantly being fed thoughts, experiences, and opinions from the lives and perspectives of everyone else. As much as we’re in denial, we need to face the fact that social media makes us influenced by other people. It had gotten to the point where I would post an outfit or look of the day on IG and be checking my notifications for likes. TF?? If I love what I have on for the day why the hell am I sitting here wondering how many likes I’m gonna get off this one picture? I put way too much thought into what somebody else would think of me and that’s never okay in my eyes.
Without being bound by the addiction of social media, I feel SO FREE! I seriously feel liberated like I can breathe. I know it sounds crazy, but you have to be a recovering addict of social media yourself to understand lol. Do you know how scary it was for me to just delete all 2,000 Instagram followers, 1,900 Twitter followers, and over 2,000 Facebook friends?? I almost had a meltdown at the idea. My friend Keisha from the 757 had to walk me through it. I had every excuse in the book as to why I couldn’t delete my pages. “I need them for exposure for my blog” was the first. When in reality it almost makes me sick to my stomach how many likes I get for a pic of myself in contrast to a pic that I post for my blog. The range between the two is HUGE and honestly it’s quite depressing when you’re an up and coming writer who’s trying to get her voice out there. It’s like ugh how much do ya’ll really like me if you can’t even take the time to read what I write??
Then there’s the issue of validity. Why TF do I even care who likes anything that I do, wear, or say?? Not even being funny but half the mfers are fronting for the Gram, the Twitter, AND the Book. Their whole existence revolves around putting on for social networking because their real lives just suck so drastically! There is never a dull moment in my life that would make me want to trade it for the lives of any of my social media friends’ so why the hell do I spend day in and day out checking for them?? Boy I had to jump out of that matrix quick and that’s exactly what I did!
Since I’ve deleted all of my pages, I’ve been really reflecting on my life and the things I want, trying to figure out a way to obtain it all. I was starting to feel like I had somewhat lost my sense of creativity because I was so influenced by everyone else and what I was seeing. Now that I’ve stepped away from the world a little, I feel like fresh ideas are starting to hit me all the time now. I picked up a book and I read a lot over the weekend. I missed that so much. Where I used to be a bookworm who couldn’t put down her Kindle, I became the girl who couldn’t put down her iPhone and stop posting pictures and statuses. I’ve been brainstorming a lot lately, writing down every little idea I have so that I can dwell on it further later. I’ve also been more tuned in when engaged in face to face conversations instead of half listening and scrolling through IG in the mix.
As Erykah Badu sang ” Two fish, one swimming up stream, one swimming down living in the dream and when she loves she tends to cling. When incense burns, smoke unfurls, analog girl in a digital world, the rasta style flower child…” I like to think that’s me 😉