I never saw myself as a secretary. Whenever I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, the thought of being a secretary never even crossed my mind. How often do you hear kids profess tantalizing dreams of becoming a secretary when they are adults? Never. And yet here I am, at 25 years young, a Senior Secretary for the City. You couldn’t have paid me a million bucks as a kid to believe that I would have been a secretary, but I am. For now anyway.
I’ve never been the type of woman who has felt completely balanced in life. When I was attending college full time and working, I felt like a completely horrible mother. Of course I wasn’t, but that’s just how guilty I felt when dedicating most of my time to school and work. Now that I’m not taking classes and have a steady work schedule that allows more family time, I feel like I’m settling in my career because it was never a dream for me to be a secretary. The constant feeling of not living up to my full potential has always eaten away at me, it’s one of my biggest fears actually. Balancing family and career has always been something I’ve struggled with and has led me to ask is it really possible to have it all at once?
I was listening to a speech given by Tina Knowles recently where she touched on this very same issue. Shonda Rhimes also did an interview awhile back where she said she doesn’t think it’s possible for women to be successful in all aspects at one time, even elaborating to say that when she’s doing great in her storylines for Scandal then she’s usually skipping meal and bath time with her kids. When I read that I was like “yasss Shonda speak on it and let me know I’m not alone!” lol because that’s truly how I feel ALL THE TIME.
I’ve recently come to the conclusion that it’s impossible to feel 100% certain about all aspects of your life when you are a hardworking woman who is trying to raise a family too. Back in the day, women didn’t go to work. They held down their households and did all the things expected of women. They got pregnant, took care of the babies, cooked daily, kept the house clean and were “kept” women. As the decades passed, the stay at home mom route became less elected and we became working women. Mesh these two together and you leave modern women desiring to excel in both areas and it’s damn near impossible.
In order for a woman to be successful in both areas, I honestly feel that a solid support system is needed and she has to utilize her days to the fullest extent everyday. It has always been extremely difficult for me to let my guard down and allow others to help me, even the people that I know love and support me. I tend to get so caught up in finding success on my own that it’s difficult for me to let anyone else in. When I ask for assistance, it sort of leaves me feeling incapable of handling all of my duties. Who wants to feel like that?? However, I had to realize that I cannot do everything alone and it’s perfectly okay to receive assistance when I need it.
We definitely can have it all successfully and simultaneously, but we cannot do everything solely. If you ever find yourself feeling like me, remind yourself of all the things you accomplish on a daily basis alone. It’s almost as if we conquer the world each and every day. Don’t get worked up when everything isn’t 100% right all the time. Ease up on yourself and know that giving your best at everything you do and continuing to strive for greatness brings on success on its own. We got this 😉