[Day 2] My Fear Factor

fear

Day two in my thirty day blogging challenge stated for me to list my three biggest fears and explain how they developed. Welp this one won’t be hard LOL! If you know me then of course you know what my number one fear is, but what are the other two?? Catch them after the break!

  1. Cats- If you know of me even remotely, then I’m pretty sure you already guessed this one. I don’t know when or where my fear of cats initiated, but it will not go away. I’ve even considered hypnosis lol. The first incidents I can remember stem back to my aunt’s house when I was maybe 5-6 years old. Her house was basically surrounding by woods on the sides and rear, and there were always a ton of cats lingering around. I have no idea if she was feeding them, but I remember they would sit in her window sill and they never feared a thing if you tried to shoo them away. That could’ve possibly sparked my fear. All I know is for the rest my life following that time I have sat in cars for hours to avoid getting out to a cat, I used to make my grandpa watch me cross the street to my friends and make them walk me back home for protection, AND I have a vow to never ever visit anyone’s home with cats for pets. I don’t even like to see them on TV and will change the channel if a cat food commercial comes on. There was a funny incident last week where Trey had left my car door open all night long, and there’s a cat that lingers around my house all the time. You should’ve seen me searching my trunk and under my seats to make sure it hadn’t made a bunker out of my car lol. The fear is REAL!
  2. Aging- Getting older freaks me TF out!! But I don’t really know why. Ever since I was little, I have had this thing against growing older. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always wanted to experience the things that come with adulthood and gaining independence; however, my mind associates aging with time passing by. I’m always living in nostalgia in my head- reminiscing about my childhood, high school days, Trey’s infant and toddler years, or listening to old songs just to go back to the exact moment in time hearing them sparks. I guess I’m just afraid that if life moves too fast, I will possibly miss out on some dreams of mine or goals. Death has never been something I’ve feared, but the thought of aging just scares me to pieces!
  3. Cancer- My mind is weird and ever since cancer has become one of the leading causes death in black women, it has been one of my most prominent fears. After having a few people close to me face battles with the disease, it really hits home on how it can just happen to anyone. We don’t even really know the source of what causes it which makes it even scarier. The worst thing is that they still have not announced a cure for it, and the treatments used for it are more painful than I would ever like to imagine. My mind often wanders to what if situations about me having cancer and how it would affect my son’s life. I have to quickly dismiss those feelings and quickly say a prayer for those individuals and families who are in fact dealing with it already. In the last few months after finding out one of my friends is fighting the battle as we speak, I have been making an effort to eat more organic foods in hopes of increasing my health over time.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to get over my fear of cats, I am open to any and all suggestions! The other two I can maintain pretty easily with prayer and changing my thoughts to more positive ones, but this cat thing is one fear that I’m not sure I’ll ever shake. If I had to add two more to do a top 5, they would be tight squeeze spaces and birds. I completely freak out when I’m in a small room surrounded by a lot of people with little opportunity for a quick exit of needed; and birds just don’t seem like the most friendly creatures to me. It freaks me out how they always almost hit your windshield, but never do then as a kid I had one that pooped directly on my shoulder at the beach . Needless to say, I think they’re evil LOL. So now I ask what are your biggest fears and why? How have you avoided or overcome them over the years??

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