[Day 3] Parental Advisory

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Today’s post for the 30 day blogging challenge is supposed to be about my relationship with my parents which used to be a really sensitive subject for me, but is now something I can boast about. Most people know that I was raised by my grandparents and up until my twenties, I somewhat resented my parents for that. My four best friends all lived in homes with both of their parents and here I was with neither of mine. The dynamics of my home life really got to me throughout my middle and high school years. It seemed like the older I got, the more I craved an explanation for why things were the way there were; as a result, I rebelled. However if you look at how we interact today, you’d never be able to tell we had any issues at all.

My mom and I have always been pretty tight, but in my teenage years we butted heads SO much. I used to feel like she was trying to dictate my life and was overbearing; and being the rebellious teen that I was, I would remind her that she didn’t raise me. I really wasn’t trying to be nasty, but I was an emotional girl just trying to find her way in life. My grandparents were GREAT to me, but my grandma was super religious and set in her ways and didn’t allow me to do many things most girls my age did. Looking back at the things I used to say, I can only imagine how I made my mother feel. I imagine she probably already had a hard time dealing with her decision to send me to live with my grandparents and I never made it any better. I had to mature and learn a few lessons before I could accept the fact that what she did for me was best for the both of us. Now we have a bond that can’t be broken and she’s truly my best friend. If there’s any single person in the world who will always have my back, I know it’s her. I can tell her anything in the world and she will still love me just as she always has.

Ahh my father whom I love dearly… Let’s just say we didn’t get along too well when I was younger. I resented him even more than I did my mom because of the difference he made between my brother and I. For a long time I wasn’t able to form a lasting bond with my brother because I was so jealous of him. Throughout my high school years my dad would leave me money for the week on my grandma’s kitchen table every Sunday, but I barely saw him and we rarely talked at all. When my family found out that I was pregnant with Trey, I remember him telling me that I had screwed up my life which resulted in me telling him I hated him.

Everything changed for us on Father’s Day three years ago.  I went to church and something in my spirit told me that it was time to let go of the pent up anger I had towards my daddy. Immediately after I text him and my brother and asked them to have a sit down with me at daddy’s house. I told both of them exactly how I felt, and daddy even acknowledged the difference in the way he treated Brandon and I. He started to explain his reasoning, but I didn’t care about that anymore; I just wanted our relationship to get better. I made sure Brandon knew and FELT my love for him, but also let him know why I resented him so much. Since then not only is my relationship with my daddy the best it’s ever been, but I also talk to my brother every single day and have become the sole person he confides in. My daddy is the best role model my brother and my son could ever have. After telling him how I felt without any malice or anger in my words, I feel like I can pretty much tell him anything now. He never hesitates to tell me how proud of me he is!

Although both of my parents were always a constant in my life in some way, it’s easy to see that we didn’t always have the best relationship or method of communication with one another. Where my parents didn’t even talk to each other at all back then, they are friendly with each other now more than I’ve ever seen before. It’s crazy how things can change for the better with faith and effort from all parties, and I know if it happened for me then it’s possible for ANYONE! No matter the situation, never take your parents for granted because there is always a lesson that you can learn from them. I have learned the importance of self confidence, following your passions, and balancing life from my mom and the skills of hard work, networking, and determination from my daddy. “There’s no way I can pay you back, but my plan is to show you that I understand… you are appreciated”!

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