Category Archives: Relationships

The Never Ending Grieving Process

Some families deal with death in great numbers that come crashing down one immediately after the next, but I haven’t had to deal with it too many times in my life. Actually I would say I’ve only had two deaths in my lifetime that have literally knocked the wind out of me and left me feeling like I didn’t know if I was coming or going. When death does come knocking around me, it seems to come for the people I love most and with whom I share the closest bond. The first being the loss of Delvin in 2002 when I was only 13, which many of you know about considering I have talked about him so much since then. Just as unexpected as that one was, the passing of my grandma was just as shocking and even more impactful. She was truly my best friend and confidante. I could tell her any and everything and she never once judged me in my life; she was always beyond proud of me even during my mess ups. From my childhood to adulthood, we were as thick as thieves and she had a bond with Trey that was just as strong as ours.

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27: The Year of Enlightenment 

27 is a number, specifically an age, that has always scared me for some odd reason. It could be the series of unlucky events tied to the number – such as all the celebrities who die questionably at that age – but so far it has been one heck of a ride for me; and I’m only five months in. I saw this quote on Facebook yesterday and felt an immediate sense of relief wash over me. Apparently I am not the only woman who feels like everything is simultaneously falling apart and coming together at this current point in my life. My tolerance for people is at an all time low, but at the same time things that used to bother me don’t affect me as much anymore. Once you recognize which friends are really beneficial to your life and you to theirs, you begin to focus on building those relationships more efficiently instead of wasting time trying to make certain people the way you wish they could or have potential to be. If I haven’t learned anything else, I’m beyond hip to the understanding that you can’t change people. Recently I’ve found myself praying for others more than anything.

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Do You Show Social Networking PDA?

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I’ve always wondered how individual couples go about finding their level of PDA that they’re comfortable sharing with the world. Iggy Azalea and Nick Young are all over the headlines this week with their new GQ spread, after the couple began dating when he listed her as his #WCW on IG. Ever since, they’ve been very open about their relationship. Personally, I’m not a public person at all when it comes to relationships and that has definitely been acquired with age. When I was younger like in high school, I wanted my boyfriends to show me off so everyone would know what was up. I was ready to change my FB status, I wanted him to put it all over his page… the whole nine yards. My Facebook name might have even had my boyfriend’s last name included. Just the most!

Nowadays I could care less about PDA. When I’m out in public, I can be very touchy-feely with hand holding, cheek kisses and whatnot but it’s moreso from me just finding it sexy rather than wanting the attention. You can best believe if I’m doing all of that then I’m not paying attention to my surroundings at all, so it’s never for attention. I just posted the first pic in 3 years with my bf and even after doing so I was left feeling vulnerable and exposed. I don’t know if it’s because I enjoy the mystery or I just don’t like to give folks the validation that they’re looking for, but either way I don’t see how people constantly post about their significant others on social networks. I mean I’m friends with and follow some people who ONLY talk about their significant others.. Every. Single. Day. If you’re saying the same thing about them you said two days ago, why not just leave the old status up? Lol

So that leads me to question, when is social networking PDA too much? Or is it ever? There’s a thin line between people seemingly trying to prove a point in their relationship and people who genuinely want to shoutout their boo. I think SOME PDA is good for instance we see TI and Tiny, Bey and Jay, Monica and Shannon, etc posted up on IG all the time but it’s never overwhelming. On the flip side, Toya low key began to annoy me when she was posting about how great of a man Memphitz is back when the beef with K Michelle came out.  It didn’t seem genuine at all to me after awhile. It’s the people who feel the need to post every single day that make me ask, are you convincing us or you? What are your thoughts on this??

-Shants

[Shants Rants] Bragging Rights

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Yesterday I posted a tweet that said, “Chicks love to say somebody’s man want them. So if all these chicks’ men want you then where is YOUR man that wants you?”… I’m still waiting on the answers lol. I got a lot of retweets and mentions about this subject an a couple of folks told me I should blog about it. Now I know I’m going to ruffle a lot of feathers with this one, but it needs to be done. What exactly are you bragging about by saying that someone else’s man wants you?? In reality, when you have numerous relationship issues or fail to keep a man yourself, you should be asking yourself why none of these men want to actually keep you.

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[Day 1] My Current Relationship

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As of today I’m starting this 30 day blogging challenge that I found online, where you post on a different topic everyday. Today’s topic just so happens to be the one thing I rarely ever talk about… My relationship status. A month ago, I would’ve said I don’t know what it is to be honest lol. Two months ago I would’ve said I was single. Today I’m smitten and by all means taken. This is what a walk in my love life looks like lol. I’ve been dating the same guy off and on for three years now, but I go back and forth more than anyone I know. I tend to run in the opposite direction when the going gets tough, but over time I’ve learned the art of picking and choosing what’s worth fighting for.
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[Positive Monday] What I Realized Over Thanksgiving Break

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My mom has become my best friend over the last year, and it really just dawned on me over the Thanksgiving holiday. Most people know that my dad’s parents raised me since I was about two, but both parents have always been in my life. My mom and I have always had a close relationship, but considering how hip and young she is our communication would often border the line of sisters or friends which would lead to many disagreements. On Thanksgiving maybe two years ago, we were at my aunt’s house in Northern VA and got into a really big argument which resulted in us not speaking for a good two weeks. Fast forward to this year and I don’t think we’ve had an argument at all… as a matter of fact I stayed with her from Wednesday up until last night and enjoyed her time so much!

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Fake Ain’t For ME!

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Since I relaunched my blog, I told ya’ll that I was gonna start getting a little more personal. I don’t normally do personal, but at this point in my life I think it could be good for me. I have nothing to lose! So anyway let me just start by saying this… I don’t do fake. I just don’t. I read people very well and trust me when I tell you that I can tell if someone is being fake with me. Ya’ll make it so obvious though. These type of fake people I can deal with because I know how to carry you. And quite frankly, I just don’t care enough about you to put much thought into how you act. You’re a speak and keep it moving type for me!

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Do’s and Dont’s of First Dates

What’s up bosses and boss chics?! It’s been a long time since I posted any blogs that were relationship oriented, possibly before I switched to the new domain! However I had a request from a teenage girl who wanted to get help with how to carry herself on her first big date. How cute right!?! Of course I got all excited like it was me lol, so I came up with my own list of rules of what to do and what not to do on your first date 🙂

Speaking of first dates, I can honestly say I never really had a true first date in high school. I went through this really rebellious streak in my teenage years, so there weren’t about to be any guys meeting the rents and #allat before taking me out lol… I did it on the sneak! #DontJudgeMe! Lol but any way, my list doesn’t just stop at those tender first dates that high schoolers go on, it covers the do’s and dont’s of dating a new guy period.  Read more after the break and leave comments of what you’d put on your list!

XOXO,
LaBellaBoss ♥

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[Bossy Books] Message From A Mistress

The True Definition of Frenemy is what you will find in the urban novel Message From A Mistress by Niobia Bryant! Imagine chillaxing with your girls at your designated safe haven where you go to dish on all you and your man’s ups and downs.  I mean come on, I know that everyone keeps (or should keep) a little to themselves. I don’t dish all of me and my baby’s details, but for the most part you can count on talking to your girls about what he does to get on your last nerve, and what he does to turn you on… and that fine brother that was checking you out that you innocently flirted with just to see if you still had it like that. What about your friend that hit up the ex from back in 99’? I mean they are your best girlfriends; they know it all for the most part right?

Okay, take all that you’ve shared with your sisters and imagine sitting at the table like in Tyler Perry’s film Why Did I Get Married, when ALL THE JUICE COMES OUT.. and then multiply that by 2000 when you realize that one of those trifling bishes is SLEEPING and LEAVING with YO’ MAN and you find out via text!!!  But it might not be your man, as she has sent the message to ALL your girlfriends. However, the only way you’re going to find out whose man it is, is by reading until you get to the END OF THE BOOK! Makes you think twice about sharing those freaky details, right?!

Message From A Mistress will have you turning from page to page figuring out which character relates to you and your friends and will have you all up in your feelings!  Niobia Bryant carefully uses flashback scenes in good taste, and uses creative word play and backgrounds for these women that will keep you interested in their lives and in the situation at hand.  You will find that everyone has issues, like in real life, and that it could “possibly” happen to you in real life. All I know is that if one of my girls hit me with the text that they leaving with mine, I’m fading to black.  I can remember sitting on the edge of my bed and couch, turning pages, dying to get to the end of the book to figure out which one of those men were living unfaithful lives and why the bestie betrayed the girl code.  I found myself pulling for one couple and my teeth clenched as I hoped it wouldn’t end in a cliffhanger.

Get the book at your local bookstore or Wal Mart and entertain yourself with the thought that one of your girls could be smiling in your face just to take your place. Now, let me text my girls and tell them what this dude did last night! They’re going to flip! (ROME WASN’T BUILT IN A DAY AND I CANT CHANGE THE WAY WE WOMEN ACT IN ONE) Happy Reading  Boss Chics!

A.Bad Boss 🙂

What Men Want

What’s up bosses and boss chics! I’m always saying how I can relate to guys more so than girls when it comes to having general discussions on life and love. Even though I have THE hardest time figuring them out, I think men have a much simpler way of looking at things in life. Women are full of emotions and feelings and we are more in tune with that side of ourselves; men on the other hand are well guarded and most think pretty clearly without the unnecessary emotions that comes with certain situations.

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