27 is a number, specifically an age, that has always scared me for some odd reason. It could be the series of unlucky events tied to the number – such as all the celebrities who die questionably at that age – but so far it has been one heck of a ride for me; and I’m only five months in. I saw this quote on Facebook yesterday and felt an immediate sense of relief wash over me. Apparently I am not the only woman who feels like everything is simultaneously falling apart and coming together at this current point in my life. My tolerance for people is at an all time low, but at the same time things that used to bother me don’t affect me as much anymore. Once you recognize which friends are really beneficial to your life and you to theirs, you begin to focus on building those relationships more efficiently instead of wasting time trying to make certain people the way you wish they could or have potential to be. If I haven’t learned anything else, I’m beyond hip to the understanding that you can’t change people. Recently I’ve found myself praying for others more than anything.
This time a month ago (I like to perfect my thoughts before writing lol) I was preparing for a weekend girls’ trip to Miami for Memorial Day with my girls Portia, Tia, and Ashley in tow. They all had been to Miami a few times before but this was my first run in the city. I was so excited! The entire weekend I was like a wide eyed child at Disney World for the first time. The main strip on Ocean Drive had been blocked off so no cars could come down at all, so there were people congregated everywhere in the streets and outside the local bars. The weather was absolutely perfect, so much that I’ve found myself missing the humidity and longing for warmer summer nights. I ate good, drank better, danced it up, and relaxed beach and poolside; but the most memorable moments come from random interactions with my friends.
I’m the type of person who runs very low on patience especially when it comes to other people. I could love you to death but if you ask me a stupid question I’m going to give you a sarcastic response. Don’t judge me, I’m working to be better lol. But guess what? This trip brought to my attention that every single person in the world has something they do out of nature that drives someone else insane. The girls and I have been friends since elementary school so we know each other inside out. I promise you each one of them has a different way of driving me completely insane and I’m 100% positive my snarky attitude and reckless mouth drive them equally insane.
When it comes to the company we keep we often blur the line that separates friends and associates, causing us to accept behaviors and attitudes from people we shouldn’t. Friends are the people who accept you flaws and all, don’t try to change you, and constantly promote growth in you. You don’t hesitate to do the same for them because the feelings are genuine and require no explanation or second thought. We spend too much time accepting things from people who should have never been able to get that close to us in the first place. Evaluate the friendships you have in place to ensure a common respect is given on both ends. I would rather have one solid friend than six who make me feel some type of way every other week. All “friends” aren’t good friends and sometimes you are what you attract!
One of the hardest things in life for me to do is cut people off. I will drive myself crazy inside by remaining silent about how I really feel towards a person just to maintain peace. I don’t like to hurt my friends or people I love so I try my best to refrain from doing so, but sometimes I end up hurting myself in the end. I’ve been faced with a few situations from various people who I thought were friends, but when I think about how they treat me then the title becomes extremely questionable.
I’m the type of person who is very hands on in all of my relationships. I talk to you just about every day and if not then several times throughout the week. I buy “just because” things for you or your kids if I see something that makes me think of you, I pop up at your house when I have extra free time (which isn’t often but hey it happens sometimes), and I try to make time to see you on a regular basis. I’m just starting to notice that there are a lot of things I’m willing to do as a friend that most people aren’t. That’s totally fine but you just can’t expect me to go above and beyond like I normally would if it’s not being reciprocated to even the smallest degree.
Living in a world where being loyal to yourself means more than having any sort of loyal ties to another human being is what makes up our current generation. Acts of selfishness and betrayal are easily masked by excuses accompanied by a nonchalant indifference to the feelings of others in this human race. Followed by the desire to be respected while leaving nothing to respect. Where the relationship title or friendship label is loosely thrown around with no valuable ties to hold them in place. It’s become ordinary to betray the trust of those that we so patiently acquired; far fetched to maintain a relationship for more than a set amount of time before the reality of it becomes questionable from an outside perspective. No one wants to put in work because work is accompanied by problems and situations that arise, totally screwing up the perception of perfection that we so often love to portray. Loyalty and compromise have become overshadowed by the mentality of “not owing anyone anything”. Dependency on others is damn near extinct. We begin to forget the few who still hold us on a high moral ground and instead only see those lacking. Somewhere along the lines the game shifts and we’re all too focused on ourselves to help anyone else. But what happens when we’ve shut down on everyone BUT ourselves and have no one to turn to when ourselves shut down on us? Loyalty is a lifestyle, it’s deeper than the word. It’s even bigger than being loyal to those who are loyal to you. If we all got on one accord and became loyal to our human race, the respect level for others’ and their lifestyles could grow indubitably. Too often the thin line between right and wrong is blurred to pacify ourselves. The sad reality is that even through the real, there’s someone who’ll read this and mystify my message with their own flawed reality… proving exactly everything that I said 😉